I am living a lie.
Tears crystallize in my eyes
And turn into shards of glass.

I am living a lie!
Why happiness is always so far away?
Why my hands are perpetually covered in blisters?
Why am I never satisfied with what I have
And keep climbing steep mountains,
Falling, shattering every bone,
Waiting to heal,
And then climbing again?

Maybe because my happiness is not meant to be.
Maybe because it is not the happiness that I seek.
Maybe it is the hardship that captivates me
And pulls me in at the exclusion of all else.

So stand back and watch wipe my tears,
Silence my groans and bandage my wounds.
Stand back and watch me climb again
For the millionth time,
And then for the billions time
If it comes to that.

But you will never see me give up
And you will never see me falter.
Time and time again
I ascend to the summit
As if my happiness is in my pain.